This winter break has left me with a lot of free time due to a lack of school work.  It seems that with this time, I have been devoting myself to learning everything about Nirvana, and, more specifically, Kurt Cobain.  First, I read Heavier Than Heaven by Charles R. Cross.  This was a beautifully written biography that followed the life of Kurt from his birth to his last few minutes of his short 27 years on this earth.  I literally could not put the book down.  The book's pretty damn big, and I finished it in three days.  Feeling like a tortured soul myself sometimes, this book gave me hope.  Even rock stars feel down and hopeless sometimes.  I am not alone.  We are not alone.  Outcast or not, none of us are experiencing anything that has not been experienced by someone before.  

I then went on to read Journals, which is basically a book made up of photocopies of Kurt's numerous journals which were locked up after his tragic death.  Courtney Love gave permission for these journals to be published.  Though I felt somewhat guilty reading Kurt's most personal and deep thoughts, invading his privacy, in a way, I learned so much from reading his journals.  When I told my family that I was learning about Kurt Cobain and reading his journals, they mocked me and asked me what I wanted to do with that "loser junkie."  Throughout his journals, Kurt sadly admits he is a junkie, but he's so much more than that.  I found myself reading certain journal entries over and over again, dumbfounded at the beauty of his poetry.  He preached love, acceptance, equality, and self expression.  He was not a loser.  He might have been a junkie, but man, was he wise.  

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes from one of his entries.

"Life isn't nearly as sacred as the appreciation of passion."

Forever 21 dress, Thrifted flannel, H&M leggings, Jeffrey Campbell boots

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